Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Many of you are visiting this site for the first time today because we have announced that there will be a baby Miller entering this world sometime around April 26,2011. Welcome! The best way to get caught up is to read this post, then find the first post in the blog and read from the beginning (at the bottom of this page, look for "older posts").

Our story is a little more complicated than most. Andrea and I have endured nearly 5 years of trying to have a baby on our own. It has been a long road; one we wish no one ever had to travel. We've learned a lot, we've cried a lot and we've become very strong throughout our journey.

Our first step was to try multiple rounds of fertility treatments including testing and oral medications early in this 'journey'. These ultimately helped to assess our situation.
Our next step was IUI (IntraUterine Insemination), of which we had a total of four sessions. The first of these attempts resulted in a miscarriage and although it was heartbreaking, it gave us hope that we would succeed with another IUI cycle. The three following attempts were void of positive news though so the obvious next step would be IVF (In Vitro Fertilization).
IVF is a very serious process/procedure that requires multiple talented physicians, extreme patient discipline (there are a lot of shots involved and timing is important), a petri dish, and a lot of luck. Unfortunately, luck was the missing component as the first two attempts under a fertility specialist in Tulsa did not end in pregnancy. As we were tired of traveling to Tulsa for the cycles and needed a fresh start, our third attempt was in Oklahoma City (we had since moved to this area from Tulsa) where we started with a nationally recognized fertility specialist who gave us renewed hope. This IVF attempt also resulted in a negative pregnancy test but the physician was able to shed some light on what he thought our problem might be. Our advisement was to attempt experimental treatment in OKC, seek further consultation, and possibly highly experimental treatment program placement with the top fertility specialist in the country in Denver, CO - - or consider surrogacy.
Our decision was heavily weighted on surrogacy based on what we had gone through with previous attempts at pregnancy. Medicine, procedures, and emotion are all a factor and these factors had added up and were beginning to take their toll; plus, we had three frozen embryos left over from our most recent attempt in OKC. Surrogacy would become the choice for us even though we knew little about it in the beginning.

We met with LaDonna, a surrogate, for more information. LaDonna is a friend of a friend who was willing to have dinner with us and help us better understand the process of surrogacy. At the time we met, she was contracted for another couple who were also in an unfortunate situation regarding fertility. She was a wealth of information and, as we pondered what we would do, one day we got a call out of the blue and it was LaDonna saying she had been released from her contract due to some marital issues between the other couple. The surrogacy was ON!

Meet LaDonna!

Surrogacy is not necessarily 'supported' by the State of Oklahoma. This brings a few challenges but not anything that could not be overcome. LaDonna is well versed in the in's and out's of our new direction and helped connect us with an attorney, a fertility team in Dallas and other necessities to get the process underway.

Our first attempt in Dallas failed due to the three remaining frozen embryos not surviving either the trip from OKC to Dallas or the thawing process (one or the other). We will never know.
We hit the reset button again and, after a few more weeks of decision-making, went for the Hail Mary to try one last time, a full IVF cycle with Andrea and myself resulting in a live transfer of two embryos to LaDonna.
We had no additional embryos to freeze and keep for later so we knew this would be our last chance to have our own little Miller. That was 13 weeks ago.

We obviously have a very strong desire to have a child of our own but were not at all opposed to adoption should the Hail Mary have not worked. LaDonna will give us the gift we have sought and we cannot thank her enough for being there for us. I believe everything happens for a reason and our situation further reinforces this.
We invite you to bookmark this site and visit often for updates.

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